DISTRIBUTION: I'd feel honored! But please ask first so that I know where it's going:)
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the BtVS characters. They all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, and other parties.
RATING: PG-14 (I'm guessing)
FEEDBACK: Send! Send! Flames will be used to burn the potroast:)
SPOILERS: Season four.
DEDICATION: To members of BA_Fluff, and to Joss Whedon, because those were the only ones that I couldn't fit into the story!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is mostly focused on fluffiness, so that's why there's not a lot of angst. I've had enough angst today, I need FLUFF! Oh, but a warning, this could be bad-fic, because it was written in such a short time, and I was kinda hyper when I wrote it, and you know what happens when I'm hyper.. **coughADemonOfLittleWordscough**
*:::Response to Shirlz's challenge:::*
- Buffy must end up with Angel clause free! -
Include 4 or more of the following: (if you're really crazy you can use them all!)
Jheria and Kate fighting over Angel (one or both can die - know which I'd prefer!)
Lilac Corncob finding out about Buffy & Angel in an unusual manner (the weirder the better!)
A main character (who normally doesn't) drinking blood
The Oracles
Chains
Leather
A Bull whip
Madonna's song "Crazy For You"
A one night truce between the vamps and the slayer's team (any reason you like!)
A love letter left in an unexpected place
A spork
Champagne, strawberries, and cream
A black Ferrari Testarossa
Members of the BA_Fluff/RKHU/Sporks/Vamps etc. lists
A G I Joe doll
Joss Whedon (with or without Acid/Crack!)
Bessie the Cow

Angel tiredly sighed, leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes.

His day had not been going well. It started when Kate had come in earlier this morning, asking for help on a case.

And then Jheria had come in, but he didn't know why. He hadn't been told, because as soon as the two were in the same room with each other, the fighting began.

Fighting over *him*, to put it specifically.

Their voices continued to drone on endlessly in his ears, and he wanted nothing more than for Buffy to magically appear in front of him, and to lose himself in her arms, and then for Kate and Jheria to instantly vanish from his sight.

And that's when *she* stepped in. He almost thought that his silent pleading had come true, but then erased that thought from his mind. If it were true, Kate and Jheria wouldn't be there, embarrassing him to death in front of the woman he loved.

*

Buffy slowly walked up the stairs which led to his office, her feet heavy and her eyelids drooping.

She hadn't been able to sleep at all last night, Angel's presence in the bed having disappeared after he'd gotten a frantic phone call from a client. He'd been gone all night, and hadn't returned to bed. She could only guess that he hadn't been tired and didn't want to wake her up.

They'd been back together for about a month now, and they saw each other almost everyday. Buffy had relocated in Los Angeles for the summer, taking up residence in Cordelia's apartment.

And then, the aspiring actress had surprised both Buffy and Angel by setting them up on a blind date with each other, informing them rather rudely that she was sick and tired of their brooding and they absolutely *had* to get back together, then had stalked off.

They'd talked things out, had agreed to try and work it out again, and then on the way home, they'd been snapped through time and space, into a different reality, and to the oracles.

They were then informed that Angel's soul was permanent, that he could never lose it again with any kind of magic or happiness, and that they had to be together because, as the Mohra demon had put it but with slightly different words, together they were unstoppable, they were immune to any demon, but apart, they would surely die.

They'd gone home extremely happily that night, and the next morning, Cordelia and Wesley had both assisted her in moving her many belongings to Angel's apartment. She was just glad her father had moved to Florida and wouldn't have a say in this - he would vehemently disagree.

And there was one more problem with the whole thing - none of her friends back in Sunnydale knew about it. She was trying to put it off for as long as possible, but she knew her absence would be questioned upon sooner or later.

Whenever they called at Cordelia's, she was never there. And she knew that her friend was getting tired of lying for her. The truth was bound to come out soon.

Not that she minded, she was getting sick of lying, too.

She stepped out into Angel's office, and heard shouting in the outer area. Stepping outside, she saw Kate and Jheria, two of Angel's aquaintances, in a hot and tense argument.

As soon as Angel laid eyes upon her, he jumped from his chair and rushed over, enveloping her in his arms.

"Save me." Was his muffled plea.

She smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head upon his chest. Whatever commotion that had been happening between the other two had stopped, and as she and her lover pulled apart, she saw that the two women were staring at them in a sort of awed shock.

"What are you doing, Angel?" Kate asked.

"I don't believe you've met Jheria and Kate, have you?" The question was directed at Buffy.

She shook her head. "Nope, but I've heard some rather amusing stories about them."

The two didn't know how to take that, so they just wore blank faces of incomprehension.

"Buffy, this is Jheria and Kate, two of my.. I work with them. Jheria and Kate, this is Buffy." He paused dramatically. "My wife."

The two gasped in shock. "Wife?!" They cried simultaneously.

"What is she, ten?" Kate scoffed. "She can't handle the life you lead. Not like I can."

"Actually Kate, this is the slayer." Angel corrected.

"That is unacceptable. A vampire and a slayer? Together?" Jheria scornfully growled out.

"That's correct." Angel confirmed.

Buffy leaned up against him, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, supporitng her weight. He watched as her eyelids began to droop.

"Tired?" He whispered into her ear, loud enough for only her to ear.

She moaned in response, and he chuckled before turning to the two shocked onlookers. "If you'll excuse us?"

He didn't wait for a response, merely walked with Buffy to the elevator and rode downstairs, then plopped into bed with her.

"You really that tired?" He playfully asked.

"Oh, I bet I could spare a few minutes." She giggled, then slid up his body and gave him a passionate kiss.

There was less talking after that...

*

Buffy awoke several hours later to the ringing of the telephone. She groaned, reached over Angel to the bedside table and grabbed the cordless, sat back in her pillows, and quietly spoke into the phone.

"It's Cordelia. I'm sorry in advance."

"Uh-oh. What happened?"

"I told them."

"Told them..."

"I told the gang where you were and what was happening."

"What?!"

"It couldn't be put off any longer. Willow seemed happy for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, they came to my apartment and asked to see you. Since you weren't there, they got suspicious, and so I told them everything. They're on their way over."

"Ugh, that's just great. At least you have a good reason for telling them, otherwise I might be mad." She sighed. "Thanks for keeping it a secret for so long."

"No problem. Want me to come for moral support?"

"Not if it's too much trouble."

"Oh, it isn't. I knew you'd need some help, so I told them how to get to the office by taking the long way, and I'm taking the short way. In fact, I'm in the office right now."

"Oh."

"Oh! Gotta go, I'm coming down!"

Cordelia hung up the phone, leaving Buffy a bit confused. Soon, she heard the thumping of a pair of feet as the actress rushed down the stairs.

As Cordy entered the bedroom, she gasped, moaned, and turned around. "Couldn't you have *told* me you were both naked before I came down?"

Sheepishly, Buffy apologized.

"Yeah, you better be sorry. I'm not sure I can handle these bad mental pictures much longer."

Right after she finished the sentence, a slamming door was heard, and soon feet tramping across the floor and to the elevator.

Angel was awake by now, slightly disoriented, and only then did Buffy realize that the blankets were only half covering them. She quickly pulled them up to their chin and cuddled closer to Angel, listening with dread as the gang filed out of the elevator and into the living room.

"Where are you?" Xander called out.

Cordelia rushed to the door, slammed it, and locked the it.

Everyone outside came rushing to the door and began pounding on it. "We know you're in there, Dead Boy! Open up! Or I'll huff and puff and blow the door down!"

Knowing that they wouldn't want to talk in their current predicament, Cordelia, being the kind soul that she was, decided that if she covered for them one more time, Angel would *definitely* have to buy her that new pair of shoes she saw while window shopping.

"Don't you dare, Alexander LaVelle Harris!" Cordelia shouted.

He paused. "What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Uh, I uh, realized I left my new outfit in my office yesterday, and Angel knew that the safest place to put it would be in his closet, so I came in and got it and am now changing, and I'm all naked, so if you come in here I swear I'm going to rip your head off!"

Grinning triumphantly, Cordelia was confused when the lovers on the bed both winced, and Angel raised the covers over their heads.

"Knock it off, Cordy, let us see Buffy!" Willow exclaimed.

"I swear, they're not here!"

Cordelia suddenly heard a loud moan come from under those covers, and recognized it as Buffy's. Frantic, she began to loudly grunt and groan to cover up the lovers' noises.

"What's going on?" Xander asked.

"Someone's having sex." Anya offhandedly stated.

"Ohhhhh!" Cordelia cried. "Ohhhhh, I stubbed my tooooe!"

"We didn't hear you stub your toe." He impatiently replied.

"That's because someone's having sex." At a look from Willow and Oz, "Xander'll back me up! We know those sounds! We've made them plenty of times before!"

"I stubbed it! Reaaaally bad! Ow!" Cordelia interrupted.

Frowning, she whispered to the two tangled in the covers, "Quit doing naughty things under there, we can hear you loud and clear!" Her response was a muffled shriek.

"What was that?" Willow called.

"Me, I stubbed it again!"

"The same one?!" Xander cried.

"Yeah! Ow!!"

As she heard another gasp and a groan, she angrily stalked over to the radio and turned it up to the max. Madonna's song "Crazy For You" filled the air.

"What's going on?" Xander asked.

"Nothing! I'm just turning on a little music!" She shouted.

"Let's see the outfit you bought!" Willow called.

Uh-oh. "Uh, I don't have it on right now."

"Why?"

"Because I stubbed my toe."

"What difference does that make?"

"It hurt, and the pain was so intense that I couldn't move my whole leg!"

There was a pause, then a bit of a snicker. "Let's see the outfit, Cordy." Willow said, sounding like she was holding back some laughter.

Realizing they weren't going to stop bugging her until she showed them an outfit, she walked over to the closet and rummaged through Buffy's clothing until she came across a leather catsuit.

"This oughta scare 'em away." She mused.

She tugged it on, and because her and Buffy were about the same size, she fit into it rather nicely. Taking a look at herself in the full length mirror against the door, she took a deep breath, then opened the door just a crack and slipped through.

The others took one look at her, widened their eyes, and gawked.

To get the desired affect, she jovially answered, "It's crotchless! You like?"

Properly flummoxed, they all backed into the living room, and Cordelia slipped back into the bedroom and locked the door.

"Go away, now!" She shouted as she turned down the music. "I need to change and then go home!"

As she changed, she quickly spoke to Buffy and Angel. "I know you're probably not done under there, but please listen to me. I just went through so much for you guys so you wouldn't have to talk to them, and I expect you to pay me back! I would never do that for anyone, so consider yourselves very lucky that I even did it at all! Angel, you owe me that pair of shoes *and* that outfit I saw at Macy's. Got it?" She got no response, just as she expected. "Well, I know you heard at least part of that, and I'll just repeat it tomorrow anyway. I'll arrange a nice little get together at the Bronze tomorrow so you and the gang can talk. Bye now."

Again, no response.

Sighing, she opened the door and slammed it shut, then made her way into the living room. She searched the place until she concluded that no one was in the house, then exited.

*

As she promised, Cordelia had arranged a get together at the Bronze with the gang, Buffy, and Angel.

The two lovers arrived there somewhat late, but that was do to a little.. problem they had in the parking lot. It hadn't taken long to fix it, although they did look a bit disheveled when they finally came in.

They spotted the gang sitting at their usual table, and quickly joined them.

"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed.

"Angel." Xander said.

Anya and Oz had joined them as well, sitting beside their respective others.

"Hey, guys." She said.

"We've come to a decision." Willow said. "We've seen that you're obviously very happy with Angel, so we're happy for you. After much consideration, we've also concluded that you two were.. engaging in some sexual activity yesterday while Cordelia was covering for you guys."

"Which is very scary, by the way." Xander put in.

"Yes. And we want you guys to be happy. We want to call a truce."

Buffy was hesitant. "Between all of us?"

"All of us." Willow smiled.

"As long as Xander doesn't call me Dead-Boy." Angel said with a grin.

All eyes turned to Xander. Reluctantly, he sighed. "Fine, fine. I won't call him Dead-Boy."

"Promise?" Buffy cheerily asked.

"I promise." He drawled out.

"Great!"

"We have a few gifts, in honor of your and Angel's happiness. Kinda like wedding presents."

"That's so sweet, you didn't have to do that."

Xander nodded. "Yep, you're right. And we probably shouldn't have, you'll get spoiled."

Anya brought a square, wrapped object up from under the table. "Here."

Eagerly, Buffy grabbed it and ripped off the paper, lifted the lid, and peeked inside..

Confused, she looked to Angel. He also took a look inside the box, and she watched as his eyes became lustful and dark. He glanced at Buffy, and realized she was very confused. Ah, his sweet, innocent little slayer.. "Thank you, Anya." He said with a sultry, sensual tone, never taking his eyes off of his beloved. "We'll put good use to these."

Grabbing the box, he quickly put the lid on it, and settled it into his lap, preventing the others from looking in.

Anya beamed.

"Well," Xander said, "That was rather confusing. But anyway, here's my present." He took out a huge box and handed it to Buffy.

She took it with childlike excitement, and quickly began to unwrap it.

Inside that box was another box. She unwrapped that.

Inside that box was another box.

She cast Xander an annoyed look, and he grinned in triumph and began to giggle.

She unwrapped a total of ten boxes before she finally came to the last one. She rolled her eyes and took out the G.I. Joe doll. "What the hell is this?" She asked, obviously aggravated.

"That's a G.I. Joe! To remind you about me! 'Cause I'm soldier-guy!"

"I opened and unwrapped box after box for this thing?"

"Remind me why I shouldn't kill him?" Angel asked.

Buffy smiled and leaned into him for a soft kiss, before pulling away and playfully swatting Xander against the cheek.

"Hey!" He indignantly cried, but Buffy had already moved on to Oz's present.

It was a wooden spork. "What's this?" She asked.

"That's a new vampire fighting tool. I figured you might become bored with a plain old stake and a spork might be a nice change. I carved it myself."

She smiled and handed Angel the spork. "Thanks." He politely said.

Willow handed the last present to Angel. He opened it slowly, unlike his darling Buffy did. Just as she was about to get very impatient and frustrated, he finished with the wrapping paper and set it on the table.

Xander took it and crumbled it up into a tiny ball.

Angel rolled his eyes. "What if I wanted to use that for wrapping another present one day?"

"Come on, De- uh, I mean, Angel, no one does that anymore!"

The others gave him amused looks, and Angel opened the box. He smiled. "Willow, this is very sweet."

Raising it up for the others to see, they quickly realized it was an incense burner, coming with six different kinds of incense.

Buffy took it from his hands and raised one of the sticks of incense to her nose. "We'll definitely be using those a lot." Buffy smiled. "You know, catch the mood and all that."

"That's why I bought 'em! They catch the mood for me and Oz, too."

Anya huffed. "Xander never uses incense. He uses candles."

"It's just as romantic!" Xander protested.

"We don't know that because we've never tried anything else but candles!"

As they began a heated discussion, Angel rose. "You want anything?" He asked.

There was a chorus of no's, but Xander screamed out 'tomato juice' before returning to his argument. Rolling his eyes, Angel made his way to the bar.

Glad that he'd remembered to store an extra blood packet in his pocket, he asked for a cup of tomato juice and a cup of water. He quickly paid, walked over to a plant and dumped the water inside, poured his blood in the cup, and walked back to the table.

"Angel?" Buffy asked as he approached. "Can I have a Diet Coke?"

Sighing, he set the drinks down, smiled down at Buffy, and went back to the bar.

As he was waiting in line, someone came up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, and the person he saw was vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place him.

"You know Buffy?" The boy asked.

Hesitantly, Angel replied, "Yeah.."

"Oh." He said nothing else.

'Strange,' Angel thought as he received Buffy's soda. He was about to walk back when he felt a tingly sensation in the pit of his stomach. He sighed and watched as two vampires approached him from the door.

"We told you, Angelus, if you ever showed your face in Sunnydale, we would kill you."

"Boys, let's call a truce tonight." Angel replied.

They eyed him suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because this day's important to me, and I don't want it ruined for anyone. So how about it? We won't kill any of your kind, you won't kill any of ours?"

His gaze involuntarily shifted to his lover's, and he quickly wrenched his eyes away. But they'd seen it, and grinned. "Oh." The elder clamped a hand on his shoulder. "Pussy-whipped, 'eh?" They chuckled, and Angel growled in warning. They backed away, raising both hands. "Alright, alright. Truce it is. We'll tell the others." They shifted away, and soon melted into the darkness as vampires did.

He made his way back to the table. Buffy greeted him with a worried look. "We got trouble?" She asked, beginning to stand up.

"No. We called a truce for the night."

Confused, Buffy only nodded.

Xander set his cup on the table and grimaced. "You know, that tomato juice must have been old. It tasted strange."

Picking up his own cup, Angel brought it to his nose and sniffed, then growled.

"You took my blood!" He accused.

Horrified, Xander immediately began to gag. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!" He glared at Angel. "Deal's off, Dead-Boy!" He then stood and ran to the bathroom.

Buffy stood and dragged Angel up with her. "Let's dance." She said.

She pulled him to the floor, and immediately pressed herself against him. She danced seductively for the remainder of the song that was playing, and then Madonna's "Crazy For You" sounded throughout the Bronze.

She grinned and whispered into his ear, "Isn't it strange how when we seem to be really, really horny, this song comes on?"

"Very strange. Unfortunately, we're not going to be staying to hear the rest of it." He tugged her closer to him, began kissing her neck, and then pulled away, leaving her frustrated. He led her to the table, where they quickly said their goodbyes, grabbed their presents, and ran out the door.

They hopped into Angel's black Ferrari Testarossa and zoomed off into the night, making the two-our drive to Los Angeles in just over forty-five minutes.

Miraculously, they weren't pulled over.

As soon as they were there, Buffy ran into the bedroom -

And halted in her tracks.

It was nothing short of a seductive scene - with rose petals littering the floor and the bed, a bottle of Champagne in an ice bucket with two wine glasses, strawberries, and whipped cream sitting on a table in the middle of the room.

She looked behind her, but Angel was no where to be seen.

Looking around again, she noticed a letter taped to the very same catsuit Cordelia had been wearing earlier. And it was indeed crotchless.

She ripped off the letter and read,

My beloved,

There are not enough ways I can express how much I love you. You mean so much to me, I'm not sure how I survived two hundred years without you. But I'm glad I did, because otherwise I would never have met you. I love you with all my heart and soul, and I want to show you how much. Tonight's going to be a night you will never forget. I'm going to do things to you you've never thought possible.

So get out of those clothes and get into this. I bought it for you after we got back together, and I know you're going to look so very sexy in it.

A

Grinning, she did as he had told her to, then languidly lay on the bed, awaiting his arrival.

*

Riley was strapped to a wall in a cellar in Sunnydale. The two vampires from earlier that night were there. They were torturing him.

Riley silently wondered how he'd gotten himself in this situation, in hold of these hostiles.

He hadn't known they were hostiles until after they'd captured him. He'd seen Angel go up to them, and because he was suspicious of Angel and wanted to know more about him, he'd walked up to the two strangers and asked them about him.

They'd told him about Angel and Buffy being together, just because he'd persisted so much that they got annoyed of him.

And then he'd gone on babbling about how he needed to go home to Iowa to be with his dear cow Bessie in this time of sadness and grief, and the vampires had finally decided that this boy needed to die.

Torture was such an exquisite and beautiful thing.

Unless of course your victim's screams were so annoying that you had to turn the radio up to the maximum volume to drown out his voice.

And that didn't even work much.

Just as Riley's latest scream died down a bit, a news announcer came on. "Two bodies were found just outside of the newest detective agency in Los Angeles, 'Angel Investigations'. The bodies were brutally mutilated, and police suspect, strange as it may seem, that the two victims attacked each other in a fit of rage. Police believe they weren't mentally stable. One was identified just a few short minutes ago, a Detective Kate Lockley. The other has yet to be identified."

They turned the station, and rock music drowned out the last of Riley's screams.

*

Buffy and Angel cuddled close in bed, content for the time being.

"Loved Anya's gifts." Buffy mumbled with a lazy smiled.

"Yeah, those chains certainly were something. It was really too bad when I took them off of you, you looked so cute when you were all helpless and tied up!"

She playfully swatted him in the chest.

He leaned down to her ear and whispered seductively, "We'll definitely have to try the bull whip tomorrow."

Grinning, Buffy found herself becoming aroused yet again. "What's the harm in trying it now?"

As they again began a sex-filled night in bed, the radio suddenly turned on, and Madonna's song "Crazy For You" filled the air.

Swaying room as the music starts
Strangers making the most of the dark
Two by two their bodies become one

I see you through the smokey air
Can't you feel the weight of my stare
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say, is that

I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you

Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I'm deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you'll see

I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you

It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you
And you know it's true
I'm crazy, crazy for you

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